David Ancell / Monday March 10, 2003
I must admit to having an overly sensitive nonsense detector in my mind. I often suspect nonsense where there is little or none. Sometimes the concept that is being descibed is fine, but it is something that I have seen used and misused. One such concept is that of a “relationship.” Maybe I don’t like the term because people have used this to overpsychologize faith.
I know we all should develop a personal relationship with Our Lord. I’m not saying we shouldn’t. However, something about the word sounds so superficial to me. I think it is because of the way I’ve heard the concept used. I’ve sometimes said that the explicit need to turn from sin or to learn dogma is needed in the materials that we study in church groups. One response I hear is that it “isn’t about that” but rather it’s about developing a “relationship with God.” Several people will then agree.
However, I wonder what these people mean by our development of a relationship with God. Are they really trying to develop a union with God? If so, then don’t we need to know who he is. Who wants a “relationship” with someone who refuses to get to know us?
Furthermore, we have a real need to turn away from what offends another if we want a relationship. A man can give his wife flowers; cook for her; bring her presents; treat her like a queen. However, this won’t mean squat to most women I know if he is also on intimate terms with another woman. Likewise, if we are doing evil deeds, how can we really expect God to believe the sincerity of the good that we are supposedly trying to do? We can’t hold on to things incompatible with union with Our Lord while simultaneously trying to claim that union.
Further, a proper desire for Heaven and a proper fear of Hell are necessary, despite what some have told me. Heaven is a state of complete union with God; if we really love God, then doing things out of a desire for Heaven is nothing less than doing things out of love for God. Likewise, the chief punishment of Hell, per the catechism, is eternal separation from God. If we love God, we don’t want to be separated from him. We Christians are not altruists but people who are living in hopes of eternal life.
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